Friday, May 10, 2019

Expectation vs Reality: Golden Girls Dorothy Chia Pet

At our last Faculty social of the semester, I was the stunned winner of the door prize, which is usually something goofy. This time, it was the Golden Girls Dorothy Chia Pet. "Thank you for being a friend!", I exclaimed as I accepted the prize. The organizers of the social asked if I would document my growing experience. I was trepidatious at the prospect, as I am known to have a a real brown thumb when it comes to growing things.


So, it was to absolutely nobody's surprise that my first attempt to grow a chia-pet resulted in something that fell far below advertised expectations. You can see the results in the comparison below:


Expectation

Reality


Ultimately, the issue seems to be that the Golden Girls Dorothy Chia Pet grew mold, which, I am told, is somewhat common with chia pets. Part of the issue may be that I didn't rotate poor Dorothy in the window. Her face was always looking inward, so I suppose her crown and forehead didn't get enough sunlight. Or maybe I'm completely wrong. I have no idea. Like I said, brown thumb.

Those White Fluffs Aren't Little Chia Sprouts

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

Credit Card Scammer Gets A Wrong Number

Another credit card scammer called me. When he asked me for my name, I told him that my last name was "Rotchhurtz" and that my first name was "Mike". I then asked him to say my first and last name together. So when he said "Mike Rotchhurtz", I asked him what he did to it to make it hurt.

The rep then asked me if I wanted a zero percent interest rate. He asked me if I had a card with a large balance on it. I told him that my Mastercard is perfectly balanced, as all things should be and wondered if he could snap his fingers and decimate my interest rate. When the rep asked for my card number, I feigned stupidity for a bit and then gave him a fake number. He figured it out pretty quick yet still tried to get my SSN and zip code. He then went offline for a bit and told me that I had provided him with wrong info.

I started to give him some new number and told him it was "5178 GO F--- YOURSELF". He promptly hung up on me.


Wednesday, May 1, 2019

Merkury Innovations BR30 Smart Light Bulb

My father is enjoying his smart home deployment so far. So much so, that he asked if I would install some smart bulbs into the recessed light fixtures in his room. I have a number of recessed light fixtures in my own living room, and, for them, I went with Merkury Innovations Color Smart A21 Light Bulbs simply because I had already had them on hand. For my father's recessed lighting, I wanted something that would be a better physical fit, so I went for the Merkury Innovations BR30 Smart Light Bulb which cost only $14.88 at Wal-Mart.

Like all other Merkury Innovations smart bulbs, the BR30 is controlled through the Genni App which is easily managed via Amazon Alexa and/or Google Home. The bulb's teardrop shape fits perfectly into the recessed lighting and operates as expected. Dad wasn't too keen on having a color changing bulb, so the BR30 fits his needs just fine. There isn't a Merkury Innovations branded version of the BR30 that supports color, but there is a Geeni branded version.