Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Cannabis Oil Rep Calls Again

The Cannabis Oil rep called again. Once again, I answered as the stereotypical stoner. This time, however, the rep quickly recognized it as a riff off of Cheech and Chong. Clovis then got on the line and the rep remarked "You guys are characters!". Clovis took offence and said he was a Republican, not a character. The rep seemed to get triggered and said he wanted to give Clovis an analogy. Clovis said that he doesn't want to put anything in his analogy because he poops out of that hole. The rep then went on to talk about building a five bedroom house. Clovis got bored and went to get his accountant to talk to the rep. The rep droned on for a second about building the five bedroom house and then hung up.

Monday, November 12, 2018

Medieval Times

We took our teenage daughters to see Youtube star and beauty influencer James Charles at the grand opening of Morphe in Woodfield Mall in Schaumburg. I had never heard of James Charles or Morphe, but I was familiar enough with Woodfield Mall to get everyone there and safely navigate the crowd of angsty teenagers. Back in my early post-College days, I lived within 10 minutes from Woodfield Mall and would end up there at least once a week to catch a movie, drink in one of the restaurants or shop for over-priced merchandise. Back then, Woodfield Mall was usually pretty busy. And, despite everything I have read about the impending demise of brick-and-mortar retail, Woodfield Mall seems to be bucking the trend. It even has an open Sears store!

The line to see James Charles was huge. I had never heard of James Charles since before last week, and we had no desire to stand in line with a bunch of teens, so we let our daughters fend for themselves and went off to explore on our own.

The Nopiest Nope That Ever Noped. 

After our daughters had properly basked in the presence of James Charles, we headed out for dinner at Medieval Times which is pretty close to Woodfield Mall. The last time I was there was about 4 years ago and I remember it being packed to the gills with people while we waited to get in. It really wasn't so bad this time. I'd say that the place was about 2/3 full at best. I was able to get 50% off tickets just by searching for Medieval Times coupon codes on the Internet. So, I splurged on a few upgrades and got us an early entry and seats closer to the action.

The food is still as good as it was the last time I was there. The dragon's blood (tomato bisque) was some of the best I'd ever had and the chicken was decent. I had forgotten that you have to eat like a peasant and that no utensils are provided. And the coffee is still amazing. I managed to bribe our Man-Wench to slip me the label of the coffee brand that Medieval Times uses so that I can buy some myself.

Of course, the best thing about Medieval Times is the show and tournament. I felt that the performers were a little off their game this time. I'm sure that comes with doing the last show of the night. I also found it a bit odd that they made a point of mentioning that some of the battles were to the death, yet some of the supposedly "dead" opponents came back to fight again. Maybe the Queen has a really good doctor that she put to use for the tournament. Maybe there's a necromancer on staff. I'm sure that total realism isn't a concern for Medieval Times. All in all, we had a great time and are already planning on  going again sometime soon.

Go BLUE! The Blue Knight Would Eventually Win The Tournament


Thanks to the magic of Youtube, I dug up an old commercial for the Medieval Times Schaumburg Castle:

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Red Dead Redemption 2 - Painful Screwups

Looks like I finished Marvel's Spider-Man just in time. Red Dead Redemption 2 came out last week and I'm a few hours into it now. It's a truly beautiful game with a lot of depth and a lot of things to do in the open world. After progressing through the initial "teach you how to play" chapter, I've spent most of my time exploring, hunting and raiding the occasional ranch for materials. My muscle memory must still be stuck on Marvel's Spider-Man because I keep running into things in Red Dead Redepmption 2. And, occasionally, things run into me. On purpose. Check out the video below to see my most painful screwups in Red Dead Redemption 2.

Monday, November 5, 2018

Stop IRS Debt Calls Me

A rep from a so-called tax relief company called Stop IRS Dept called me. I strung him along a little bit by pretending to look for paperwork which culminated in me flushing a toilet. I then pretended to fart and said it was "Farting Friday". I told the rep that the IRS was planning to garnish my wages, which I thought had something to do with food presentation.

I was handed off to a "Senior Tax Advisor". I said I was expecting a Mexican because of the word "Senior" and said I was disappointed. The rep said that life is filled with little disappointments. I replied "Yeah, your wife knows that very well".

He hung up on me.

Friday, November 2, 2018

Marvel's Spider-Man Screwball Combat Challenge Gold

The Screwball Challenges are the scourge of Marvel's Spider-Man DLC: "The Heist". Getting the bronze level is tough enough. Getting gold on the challenge seems impossible when you first start out. Here's a video I made of me getting gold on a Screwball combat challenge. What you need to do is try not to engage the enemies until you get into a photobomb area. Once you do, start jamming on your gadgets, favoring the impact webs, tripwire webs and web bombs. Also, make sure you have the regeneration power enabled plus the add-on that gives you a gadget refill whenever you do a finisher.