Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Medicare Back Brace Scammers Called Me

A rep from some back brace insurance scam called me. I put Otto on to handle the call. His told the rep that his back has indeed been hurting ever since he was on the toilet making poopies and fell off. He kept wanting to tell her about his Beanie Babies, and even hoped that he might be able to get a Beanie Baby Back Brace, but the rep just didn't want to listen. She also kept pronouncing his name as "Arthur" rather than "Otto". I kept her on the phone for about 8 minutes. Once an American rep took over, the call was ended quickly.

Monday, May 21, 2018

Jones Good Ass BBQ and Foot Massage

For a brief moment, I actually thought that Jones Good Ass BBQ and Foot Massage was a real commercial. It was done in the spirit of the 80's era Chicagoland commercials like Moo and Oink, Eagle Insurance and Victory Auto Wreckers. The Jones Good Ass BBQ and Foot Massage commercial even features a real phone number and an an actual address, just 20 minutes from the old homestead! If Tony Jones hadn't said "shit" in the commercial, I would have been completely convinced and I'd have taken suggestions from my fans (both of them) on what to bring down to Jones Good Ass BBQ and Foot Massage to have Toby fry up for me.

Alas, this dangling carrot of awesomeness is not real. It's the brain child of Big Dog Eat Child, a Chicago area sketch comedy group. Toby Jones is portrayed by stand up comedian, Robert L. Hines. Hines has done a number of other Toby Jones commercials for Big Dog Eat Child including Jones’ Big Ass Truck Rental and Storage and Jones' Cheap Ass Prepaid Legal and Daycare Academy.

Here's a link to the Jones' Good Ass BBQ and Foot Massage video.


If you're interested in checking out some classic Chicagoland commercials, be sure to check out my Classic Chicagoland Commercials playlist on Youtube.

Friday, May 18, 2018

Yanny Vs Laurel

I haven't paid much attention to the Yanny vs Laurel debate that has erupted over my Facebook feed lately. In fact, I thought that the Yanny vs Laurel debate had something to do with American Idol finalists. I hadn't paid that much attention to the noise about the whole debate through, so, when my daughter finally played the audio sample for me last night, I was finally let in on the latest fad that has been taking the Internet by storm.

Apparently, this whole thing began on Reddit when the poster of that thread had recorded the video by playing the vocabulary.com pronunciation guide to “laurel” through their speakers. The original poster also had friends saying they heard "yanny" from the vocabulary.com audio. Youtube star, Cloe Feldman happened onto the thread, created the poll and it went viral.

So, you might ask whether I hear "Yanny" or "Laurel" on the clip. My answer to that is "neither". Instead, I hear something akin to "9/11 Was An Inside Job", though, I must admit, my hearing isn't what it used to be. Still, I hate to admit it, but I have to say that I'm a bit disappointed that Yanny won't be winning American Idol this year.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Home Solar Panel Sales Calls Me

Otto got a call from a sales woman working for a home solar panel installation service. When she asked for Otto, I told her that he was an old man who shits himself, but, if she wanted to talk to him, that would be okay. She got a little defensive, and, by the time Otto answered the phone, she decided to hang up.


Monday, May 14, 2018

Surfing On The Humane Van In GTA V

I'm incredibly late to Grand Theft Auto V. I had played it on Playstation 3 a few years back and didn't get very far before I purchased my PS4. At that point, I didn't want to double dip the game, but I just never got back to playing GTA V. I finally broke down and bought GTA V for the PS4 earlier this month and have been steadily making progress on the single player missions. I've also been playing with the Rockstar Editor which allows you to do all sorts of things with your game play clips like change camera angles, add filters and substitute music. This can make for some pretty epic videos.

To that effect, I've made a video my my mission to steal the knockout gas from the Humane van. It's a pre-heist mission that Michael De Santa must complete in order to proceed to The Jewel Store Job. In order to steal the gas from the van, it's suggested that you tail the van, shoot the doors open from your car and then pick up the canisters that drop out. I misunderstood and thought that you needed to get the van to stop, then shoot the doors, then open the doors, take the gas canisters, jump back into your car and leave. You could just hijack the van, but that forces you to confront the driver who is armed and armored, gives you a higher wanted level than shooting the doors from your car, and forces you to try to elude the cops while driving the van.

In this clip, I have stopped the van, shot the doors, and attempted to open them manually. Instead of opening the doors, I climbed on top of the van. Once I did that, the van started moving again. I expected to be thrown from the van rather quickly, but, when that didn't happen, I decided to try to shoot the driver through the roof of the van. When that didn't work, I thought that, if I shot at the passenger side of the van, the GTA V A.I. would read it as an attack from a car and would try to swerve to get out of the way, which would possibly cause one of the A.I. cars to crash into the van. It worked pretty well, as the van swerved, got T-boned by one of the A.I. cars and threw me from the roof. The driver got out, we had a brief firefight and I jumped into the van and took off.


Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Another Toys R Us Tour

While I was in Bloomington, IL for my TSA pre-Check interview, I decided to stop at the local Toys R Us to see how their liquidation sale was going. When I got there at 10:00am, there were about 8 people waiting for Toys R Us to open. Inside, markdowns of 20% - 40% off meant that there were finally some decent deals to be had. There was a lot of stock still on the shelves and in the walkways.




Monday, May 7, 2018

TSA Pre-Check Interview

About a month ago, my daughter an I arrived at the New Orleans airport three hours early for our flight. She had automatically gotten TSA Pre-Check status, probably because she's a minor. I, however, did not get the same courtesy, so, we had to wade through the security line with the rest of the plebs. The line was so long that we almost missed our flight. Never again.

I signed up for TSA Pre-Check. The program allows you to skip the line and go through an expedited security line instead. Most TSA PreCheck members go through their line in about 5 minutes. The first thing you do is sign up via the TSA PreCheck website. Once you submit your application, you pick a time and location to go in for an "interview". You pick an airport or some other TSA office to go to and then set a date. You have to bring a valid TSA compliant ID and $85.

Today, I had my interview. I had prepared for something at least a little intense. I figured I'd be asked about my parents, grand-parents and any criminal history. Nope. They just took my money, scanned my ID and finger-printed me. I was in and out of there in 15 minutes, 5 of which was me bantering with the TSA agent. Now, my info goes to the TSA for approval and, hopefully, within a week, I get my status.

Honestly, this all seems kind of scammy to me. You have to pay $85 for the privilege of the TSA running a background check on you? Is it worth it just to get through the security line quicker? Yes, yes, yes and MORE yes. I hear that I might not even have to take off my shoes.

EDIT: Not even one week later, I was notified via e-mail that I have been approved for TSA PreCheck and have received my Known Traveler Number (KTN). The next step is to input that number into my accounts with various airlines so that, the next time I fly, my ticket will indicate that I can skip the pleb line.