Friday, October 14, 2016

Hilton Honor Telemarketer Calls

A lady claiming to be named Genesis Eden from Hilton Honors called recently trying to sell me on some trip to Hawaii. I told her that I wouldn't need such a trip because I already live in Hawaii. She switched gears pretty quick and tried to sell me on a trip somewhere in the "conjoined" (I'm sure she meant "contiguous") states. When she hit upon selling me on a trip to Vegas, I went into a few verses of "That Word Broadminded" and tried to sell her on accepting Jesus as her personal savior. This really seemed to piss her off for she chose to remind me that her name was "Genesis Eden" as if that made her some sort of spiritual badass. When I suggested that she might have been so-named because she was a Phil Collins fan, she finally hung up on me.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Ass Cream Cake

So, would ass cream be a type of fondant made from the gluetal region or would be some sort of emulsified butt by-product used as a filling? Either way, I've lost my appetite.