Monday, September 26, 2016

Prudential Multilevel Marketer Calls Me

Even though he hasn't updated his resume in three months, it seems that Clovis is still in demand. Recruiters who push multi-level marketing schemes keep e-mailing him to see if he's interested in joining their team. Most of them don't bother reading his resume. If they did, they'd realize that the first paragraph has a disclaimer stating that anyone who contacts Clovis agrees to pay a $20 contact fee. Some poor sap pushing Prudential products got caught unaware when I asked him whether or not he had actually read the resume. Upon reading the first paragraph aloud, he hung up.


Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Popular Drinks At Sandals Royal Caribbean

I've drank more alcohol this week than I have in the past six months. Much of that has been in the form of Red Stripe beer, but more and more, I find myself indulging in mixed drinks while the wife and I lounge on the beach and stare out at the ocean. There are a lot of different drinks that the bartenders can make for you at Sandals Royal Caribbean. I'll list the more popular ones down below:


  • Jamaican Smile
  • Dirty Banana
  • Sky Juice
  • Bomb Pop
  • Buffalo Soldier 
  • Rum Punch
  • Ziggy Marly
  • Spicy Red Eye

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

The Luminous Lagoon

We can't just sit on the beach all day, can we? Well, with our butler bringing us drinks and snacks and doing everything for us short of wiping our asses, we most definitely CAN sit on the beach all day. That's why we book a night time excursion to swim in the glistening waters of the famous Luminous Lagoon. Montego Bay's luminous lagoon is a shallow lagoon of brackish water that is a habitat to a unique species of dinoflagellate. These phytoplankton emit a bioluminescencent blue-green glow when disturbed by people swimming or by boat engines cutting through the water.

We booked our excursion through the Sandals desk so all we had to do was wait outside at the appointed time and a car came around to pick us up. We traveled for about 20 minutes before reaching a somewhat seedy hotel/bar where we were invited to have a complimentary drink. We declined. I started to wonder about the possibility of waking up in a bathtub with a kidney missing. We waited for everyone else to arrive while a small dance troupe danced on stage. After about another 20 minutes of waiting, we all crowded into a boat and set off into the middle of the lagoon. Along the way, the driver explained to us how the bioluminesence worked. We were able to see the blue-green glow being emitted behind the outboard motor.

Photoshop Enhanced Picture I took In the Lagoon
We were soon encouraged to jump into the water to experience the glow of the luminous lagoon for ourselves. Sounds cool, right? Well, I'm thinking that the phytoplankton weren't feeling to luminous tonight because we could see nary a glow when we jumped into the water. It made me wonder for a moment if perhaps the boat's motor had some sort of tank containing glowing paint. The temperature of the water was pretty cold which may have had something to do with the general lack of glowing activity.  Everyone was pretty disappointed at the coldness of the water, the muddiness of the bottom of the lagoon and the overall lack of activity. And, at $60 a person, I can't blame them. Then there's the camera guy. He's happy to take pictures of you splashing about in the lagoon and then sell you the photos for $25. The best he could do for us was to have us sit near the motor while it was running while he took a series of pics. Not much came of him shooting pictures of people while they were in the water.


Monday, September 12, 2016

Club Mobay

We landed at Donald Sangster International Airport in Montego Bay, Jamaica this afternoon. Before flying out, I booked a VIP arrival service for us called Club Mobay. Upon leaving the plane, we were greeting by a Club Mobay representative holding a placard with our names on it (My exclamation of "Woah! That lady has the same names as us!" was not appreciated). The Club Mobay representative led us through terminal, took us to baggage claim, fast tracked us through customs and immigration (while everyone else waited in line) and then brought us to the lounge to relax and have a few drinks while we waited for the Sandals transport to take us to the resort. Even though the lines in customs didn't appear to be too terribly long, we were very happy to have someone take us through the entire process just so we knew exactly what would be expected of us. So, for arrival service, I would definitely say that Club Mobay was worth the price.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Off To Jamaica

The wife and I are off to Jamaica for a week long honeymoon vacation. We're staying at the Sandals Royal Caribbean resort in Montego Bay, Jamaica. And for the last week, I haven't been able to get that God-awful Beach Boy's song "Kokomo" out of my head ("Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go..."). Sandals resorts are all-inclusive which means that your food and drinks (even alcohol) are already included in the price. We also went a step further and got a room that includes butler service. The butler will make dinner reservations, reserve beach chairs, bring meals/drinks and make reservations for excursions. I'm told that they even offer to unpack for you but I don't know that we'll be asking our butler to do that. No need to let them root through our unmentionables. Anyway, we're looking forward to Sun, surf and relaxation in Montego Bay. Montego Bay itself is a very interesting city. Not only is it the top tourist destination in Jamaica, but it also boasts a thriving Business Process Outsourcing sector. Montego Bay is home to many call centers serving such Fortune 500 companies as Delta, Amazon and Netflix. Vistaprint also has its one and only call center located in Montego Bay. And, why not? Montego Bay is a modern city, home to fine dining and shopping opportunities (so says the Jamaica tourist board) and is currently updating its infrastructure to keep it so.