An overly perky rep from Bryant and Stratton College called me yesterday. Bryant and Stratton College is a for-profit institution with campuses in a handful of states across the country. They have noted alumni such as John D. Rockefeller and Henry Ford. They must be eager to add Clovis to their list of distinguished alumni, as they've been spamming his inbox for nearly a year now.
The Bryant and Stratton College rep indicated that Clovis has requested information on March 5th. Clovis, of course, wondered if she was from the future, as it was still only February. The rep then backtracked and said that Clovis requested information on February 5th of last year. All this talk of fifths made Clovis eager for a fifth of Jack Daniels, which Clovis immediately took a swig of and ended up barfing back up. The rep didn't stick around in order to overhear the cleanup effort. So, it would appear that Clovis won't be attending Bryant and Stratton College anytime soon.