Thursday, June 4, 2015 Calls Me

Somehow, my info got posted to and a rep called me (using the number (240) 345-4134) to inform me that I had been entered into a drawing. I kept her on the phone for nearly 10 minutes. Here are some of the highlights:

1:15 - I ask if the "drawing" might be of a knight riding on a dinosaur that's eating a unicorn. The rep laughs and I pretend to cry over her making fun of me.

2:40 - The rep says the drawing will be held on the 15th. I ask how many people will be holding the drawing and if the drawing would be big enough for six people to hold.

3:13 - I ask who will be drawing the picture for me and outline the type of artist and the medium. "Crayola! None of that ColorMagix crap that you get at the Dollar Tree".

4:20 - The rep asks if I'm married and I tell her that she's not my type. I also tell her that our one year anniversary is coming up and that I want the picture of the knight riding on the dinosaur eating a unicorn for an anniversary present.

6:18 - I tell the rep that I live on "125 F.U.C.K. O.F.F. Boulevard". She doesn't get it.

7:13 - I'm starting to get bored, so I belch and make a fart noise. She's unfazed.

8:05 - She tries out an obviously scripted joke: "If you're a big winner, would you mind sending me a bottle of champagne so we can celebrate together?". I pretend to take major offense at this and accuse her of  trying to undermine my marriage and mooch off of my winnings.

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