Monday, April 29, 2013

Some Truck Driver Really Loves Little Caesar's

After work on Friday, I stopped at the local Little Caesar's hoping to try their new deep dish pizza. I was hoping that it would taste just like old school Little Caesar's, so I was anxious to get in line and put in my order.

There was a pretty good sized line waiting when I got in there, mostly filled with college kids who were trying to get something to soak up the beer that was was still floating in their stomachs from 4 O'clock club. I waited patiently and soon I was third in line. As the latest customer was paying for his order, a redneck type burst through the doors.

"I'm going to go ahead and cut in front of you two" he said to both me and the guy in front of me

"Okay," I said, recognizing by the guy's demeanor that he was in a hurry. "But you're going to have to pay for our orders too".  

"I can't do that. I only have $5.50"

"Then, I guess you're going to the end of the line."

"No, you don't understand. I'm illegally parked. The cops don't like it when I park like that."

I figured that he meant that he had parked in a handicapped spot, so I looked out to the parking lot. Seeing no cars in he handicapped spot, I gave the line-jumper a quizzical look

"That's my semi out there across the street".

The guy had apparently seen the Little Caesar's, parked his semi in the middle of the busy street and ran across three lanes of traffic to get himself a pizza. For a moment, I thought that I should yield my spot in line in recognition of his rabid Little Caesar's fanhood and in the interest of traffic safety. But, no, I was resolute.

"I really wish I could help you, but it's illegal to aide and abet illegal parking in this city", I said.

"True story!", said the guy in front of me as he stepped up to the counter to  put in his order.

The truck driver reluctantly got in line behind me and started hopping around as if he had to take a massive piss. I stepped up to order my Little Caesar's deep dish pepperoni and was told that it was already Hot and Ready.

As I was getting a two-liter of soda out of the fridge, the truck driver stepped up to order. He asked for a Hot and Ready sausage pizza. The clerk told him that Little Caesar's only has pepperoni Hot and Ready. The truck driver said he'd settle for a pepperoni then. He was told that the person who just left had gotten the last one and that they'd have another up in 5 to 10 minutes.

The truck driver screamed out some intelligible set of curses, turned and bolted out of the store to his truck.

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