Wednesday, January 2, 2013

The Next Apocalypse

As most sane people expected, the Mayan Apocalypse has turned out to be yet another dud in a long line of failed end of the world predictions. This, of course, begs the question: When is the next apocalypse predicted?

  • Ronald Weinland, founder of the Church of God Preparing for the Kingdom of God has predicted that Jesus will return and that the world will end on May 19, 2013. He refers to Pope Benedict XVI as a false prophet and he himself purports to be the end-times apostle referred to in the predictions of St. Malachi. Weinland was recently convinced of tax evasion and begins his 42 month prison sentence on February 1. Which means he will be in jail during his predicted apocalypse.

  • Jean Dixon predicted that the world would end somewhere between 2020 and 2037 and would be ushered in with Christ's return. Then again, she had also predicted that the world would end on February 4, 1962. The world didn't end then, but country singer Clint Black was born on that day, so, that's almost as bad. 

  •  There remains a 1 in 250,000 chance that the near-Earth asteroid, 99942 Apophis (or just Apophis for short) will impact the Earth on April 13, 2036. Apophis has a diameter of approximately 885 ft, so, if it does impact the Earth, we'd be looking at the equivalent of about 510 megatons. It's looking less and less likely that Apophis will even impact the Earth, much less bring about a global apocalypse

  • According to some Talmudic traditions, the Messiah should come within 6,000 years of the creation of Adam and would be destroyed 1,000 years later with a period of desolation in between. This puts he beginning of the period of desolation at 2240 and the end of the desolation in 3240 

  • Most scientists predict that by 500,000,000 A.D. the Earth will be uninhabitable due to a drop in the world's carbon dioxide level. I hope, if I'm still around for this one, I'll have found a new planet to live on. Barring that, some 4.5 billion years later, our Sun will exhaust all of its hydrogen fuel and begin fusing helium which will cause it to swell so large that it will engulf the entire Earth. 

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