Wednesday, February 29, 2012

We Braved Ikea On A Saturday

I'm pretty sure that Ikea is Swedish for "Hell". Especially when you're there on a Saturday morning nursing an upper-respiratory infection and a hangover. Jason and I were in the Schaumberg area in the aftermath of the Van Halen concert. I hadn't been to that monstrosity of a store since it opened twelve years ago, but, my desire for a simple coffee table and the unique take Ikea has on Swedish Meatballs outdid my apprehension.

Looks The Same Going In As It Does Coming Out
As I feared, the store was packed to the gills with drones in search of cheaply made Swedish home furnishings. I had forgotten that Ikea is basically a three floor maze with a restaurant in the middle. It took forever to find the coffee tables because my hungover mind could not process the directions on the various maps placed strategically throughout the brightest parts of the store. I did stop at some point and ask one of the Ikea employees where I could find a "svart soffbord". I was a little disappointed that they didn't speak Swedish, but I think I was more disappointed at the apathetic looks I got from them. Ikea truly is the Wal-Mart of furniture stores.

One thing that did impress me was the purchasing system. Thanks to the timely intervention of our friend Nikki, I eventually found the coffee table I wanted (called a LACK), memorized its organization number (okay, I took a picture of it), went down to the warehouse level, picked it up and checked out. All things told, once I actually found what I was looking for, the process was pretty painless. The real question is: How were the Swedish Meatballs? I don't know. Once we got to the restaurant, the smell of them was too much for me to stomach, so I went with the buffalo chicken wrap, which was actually pretty good. I made Jason try the Swedish Meatballs and, as of this writing, he's still alive. Stay tuned, though.


  1. Half my furniture is from Ikea and 7 years going is still in great shape. That maze of a store though kills me.