Wednesday, February 1, 2012

A New Grocery Store Opened Up Near Me

The Pepsi Bottle is posing with ME,
not the other way around.

The grand opening of a super-market is the closest thing to a gala event that my town can ever hope to experience this far away from Hollywood. Since I live just steps from the store, and since my daughter and I have witnessed every stage of its construction, I decided that we should be there for the ribbon cutting ceremony and to be among the first to see the inside of this new monument to consumerism. Everybody who's anybody from my town was there including the Mayor, chief of Police (shouldn't he be...you know...policing??) and the University President. Being a minor celebrity myself, I was ogled by the crowd as I moved through the sea of people to get closer to the doors. I got quite a few strange looks when I screamed "By Grabthar's Hammer.....what a savings!!!" (an homage to Galaxy Quest) as the ribbon was cut.

The new store certainly is beautiful and offers all of the modern conveniences one hopes would accompany a modern grocery store. It boasts a mezzanine lounge area with a fire place set nearby a gourmet coffee machine and pizza bar. The aisles are wide and the selection is really good. They even have Mexican Coca-Cola (made with real sugar), Orangina and cans of boiled peanuts. Those products have been impossible to find around here in the past.

The crowd of people eager to have a look at the new store was overwhelming and it was hard to navigate through the store. My daughter and I were content to simply look around. As we left, though, I noticed that the lines to the check-out counters were huge. Most of them spilled out of the hallway and up into the grocery aisles, filling them up nearly half way. The vast majority of these people had carts full of stuff. And that's what perplexes me. What kind of person actually does a full load of grocery shopping during the grand opening?

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