Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Wolfman Owes Me An Apology

I've had my Netflix copy of The Wolfman (2010) sitting in a pile of unread mail for nearly two months now. I know that it got some pretty bad reviews, but, I figured that a movie about a werewolf that doesn't sparkle in the Sun can't be TOO bad, right? Right? Wrong!

I can't even begin to describe what is wrong with this dreck. It's not scary, it's not even remotely well acted by anyone who isn't Anthony Hopkins and the wolfman himself is so badly costumed as to be comical. I wasn't sure if I watching a horror movie or a horror movie spoof. Benecio del Toro is supposed to be a man tortured by his inner demons and the tone should be layered in subtexts of sexual repression, alpha-male dominance, sexual repression and compulsive. The thing is, del Toro seems to piss his pants and run away from all of this.

So, what do I do about this? I can't very well ask to for those two hours of my life back. I do, however, demand that Benecio del Toro travel to my home and issue me a personal apology for The Wolfman, this abomination of a film. He can get in line right behind George Lucas who owes me for Howard the Duck and the Star Wars prequels.

No comments:

Post a Comment