Monday, March 21, 2011

No, We Are Not Twins

JohnMac and I are brothers. We were born just over three years apart. From our mannerisms to our vocabulary to our general appearance, it's easy to tell that we're related. For some odd reason, however, everyone in Georgia seemed to think that we were twins.

We took our kids roller-skating and JohnMac's wife took on the task of helping the kids navigate the rink while JohnMac and I spent time in the adjacent arcade. In the middle of being resoundingly beaten on yet another racing game by my older brother, another parent tapped me on the shoulder. Was I complaining too loudly again? I turned to look at her and face her wrath.

"Y'all are brothers?" she asked, pointing and me and JohnMac.

I laughed a little to myself, relieved that she didn't seem to care that I had been rather loud about constantly losing against JohnMac. "Yep.", I said as I tried to get somehow escape from the hell of 8th place.  "He's older,  but I'm more fun!", I added.

The lady looked us both over again and then asked me "How many minutes older is he?"

I slammed my virtual car into a virtual wall. "Just over one point five million, I'd guess".

I could see the wheels turning in her head.  "So...y'all aren't twins?".

JohnMac and I certainly share similar facial features, but the hair lines and styles are substantially different and he's a solid four inches taller than me. Okay, maybe it was the bad lighting and the fact that we were both sitting down. We went over to the concession stand to get the kids some drinks. The logistics of finding out what the kids wanted along with navigating the line of teens who were anxious for their orders meant that JohnMac and I were switching places a lot. The concession girl kept on trying to give me JohnMac's stuff. The third time it happened, I gave her my "WTF??" look.

"I'm sorry.", she said. "I've never had to handle twins ordering before".

I wanted to smack my head against the table. Instead, I merely looked over at my brother, then back and the concession girl and said "What the hell? I've never seen this guy before in my life!"

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