Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Horror Of Instant Coffee

By early yesterday morning, I was still catching up on my sleep. Somehow, I managed to ooze out of bed and into the kitchen. I attempted to heed the pleas of my daughter to make her some cereal, but it was no use. I needed to jump-start my brain with some coffee before I could even hope to function.  I filled my trusty coffee maker with water and added a few plungers worth of my favorite ground coffee, clicked the START button and waited for the friendly gurgling sound to start. Nothing. Had I forgotten to put in the water? Nope.  It appeared that my coffee maker had decided to take Labor Day off.

I briefly considered bothering the neighbors for a few cups, but as the one to my left had recently moved out and the one to my right would most likely turn to ash upon contact with direct sunlight, I decided that I had no alternative but to settle for instant coffee. Instant Coffee. It pains me just to type it. It's an abomination. So, it was with much regret that I stuck a mug full of water into the microwave and reached for the tiny package of Folger's Instant Coffee that had been hidden in the darkest recesses of my cabinets.

The concoction that resulted from my adding Folger's crystals to hot water can most politely be described as vile. It was like I had added organic fertilizer to water. Sure, it was coffee in the strictest technical sense in that it was brown, had caffeine and had once long ago descended from a coffee vine, but what I ended up drinking would no doubt be a violation of the Geneva Convention had it been served to prisoners of war.

Reluctantly, I choked the revolting bile down and hoped that it would kick in as soon as possible. If nothing else, it heightened my appreciation for real coffee and has motivated me to replace the old coffee maker as soon as possible

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