Monday, May 17, 2010

No, I'm Not Losing My Mind

I've become something of a mental klutz as of late.

While at work last week a call came through my Google Voice account. My instinct kicked in and I knew right away that a telemarketer had fallen into my clutches. Good. I needed some new Virtual Sink material. I answered my phone using my "Billy-Bo Higgis" voice which is a delicate meshing of Southern redneck drawl and Texas twang. I wasn't more than two sentences in before the caller hung up on me. Busted. Frustrated, I looked over to my boss who seems to enjoy listening to me mess with these guys.

The boss looked over and said "That has got to be the worst attempt at an impression you have ever made". I don't normally screw up like that.

Early Saturday morning, the phone rang through again. I picked up and heard a recorded voice give me a set of options to connect with a telemarketer. Aha! Another chance for mischief! This time I would make that car warranty pusher fear for the state of humanity! I opened the digital keypad to initiate call recording.....and promptly disconnected the call. Ugh! One screw-up in the course of a week I could possibly understand. But, two? Has somebody been slipping something into my coffee?

There's a simple explanation here. I haven't been experimented upon by aliens or re-programmed by a rogue government agency. I haven't switched to decaf and I haven't been adhering to some Hollywood diet fad. No, I've simply gotten very emotionally involved with an amazing woman and it seems to have altered my thought processes.

It's only natural that when you find someone that you develop deep feelings for that certain neural connections in your brain are going to have to get re-configured. So, as a sizeable chunk of my mental processing power is now dedicated to thinking about my girlfriend and how smitten I am with her, it's going to take a little time for me to re-direct the finer comedic functions in my noggin. Verily, I'm told lately that I'm less sarcastic, noticibly goofier and obviously happier.

I've dated other women while I've maintained this site, but none before my current girlfriend have had a discernable effect on me or even merited anything more than a passing mention. That's where this differs. This is different. This is substantial. And this is a genuine shake-up of the status quo. I mean that in the best way possible.

Anyway, give me another week or two to get used to being so damn happy all the time and I'm sure I'll be able to start pulling decent prank phone calls again with all the skill I have had in the past. And I'll pull it together in time to write about all the goofy stuff I have been up to lately. Bear with me. And be happy for me. I deserve it, damn it.

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