Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Lohan Sues E-Trade

Actress/Singer/all-around-hot-mess, Lindsay Lohan is suing E-trade, the financial company that makes those disturbingly weird yet absurdly funny commercials where the babies talk smack and trade financial advice. Lohan insists that a boyfriend-stealing, "milkaholic" baby in E-Trade's latest commercial -- who happens to be named Lindsay -- was modeled after her. And she wants $100 million for her pain and suffering.

Lohan's lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna.

"Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit," Ovadia said.

"They used the name Lindsay," Ovadia said. "They're using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn't they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody's talking about it and saying it's Lindsay Lohan."

Didn't Spike Lee do the same thing to the Spike channel a few years back? That didn't work out too well for Mr. Lee. If Lohan truly thinks that she has the same sort of first-name recognition afforded to the likes of Oprah, Madonna, Cher, Bono and Sting, then she's much more delusional than Sting ever was. And, even if the folks at E-Trade targeted Lohan specifically, she's a public figure so the portrayal would fall under the parody exemption.

Part of me wonders if this isn't some kind of publicity stunt rigged by E-Trade and the Lohan camp to create some buzz around both parties.

Still, if she does, through some convoluted fluke in justice, win this case, I am totally going to sue Tom from MySpace and that bass player from Hedley. And then maybe all the Lindsays of the world can file a class-action lawsuit against Lohan for besmirching the name "Lindsay".


  1. i read this the other day, and was floored. are you freakin kidding me? is her ego that totally blown up? she used to be a promising talent, now she's nothing but a hot mess that actors groan at when they hear they have to work with her. i did like her in "Georgia Rule", but it seems any advice Jane Fonda gave her went in one ear and out the other. she's a joke!

    if she wins... i better tell my friends to stop referring to me as cher!!

  2. My friend, when I said "Cher" had first-name recognition, I meant you, not that lady who married Sonny Bono.