Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Some Small April Fools Day Pranks

I'm well aware the I am the prime reason why my co-workers take April 1 off. My pranks around the office have become the stuff of legend. While working for an insurance company soon after I graduated from college, I chose one April Fool's Day afternoon to play a little prank on the entire office. I took several of the leftover pizza boxes from the previous week's company board meeting and stacked them around the cafeteria. I then sent out a department-wide memo stating that free pizza was available in the cafeteria. Dozens of programming nerds schlepped to the cafeteria and all they found was me patting my tummy surrounded by empty pizza boxes. I faked a burp and said "You'll have to be faster than that!".

I've toned down my pranks over the years, mainly for fear of retaliation from progressively smarter co-workers. I'd hate to walk into my office and find it stuffed to the top with stock boxes (again). If you're like me and you'd like to pull a prank or two around the office, but don't want much more than a few giggles, here are a few things you can try:


If You Have An HP Printer:

You can change the status message on any networked HP printer that handles PJL commands. All you need to do is find the ip address of the printer and telnet into it. Drop to the command line of your workstation and type:

telnet [ipaddress] 9100 

Once you are connected, type

@PJL RDYMSG DISPLAY="RADIATION LEAK!"

Another neat thing to do is to print up announcement flyers to place near your office's copiers. Be sure to use the logo of the company that makes your copiers. Indicate that the copiers have been upgraded with a new voice recognition system. Instruct the user to speak commands such as "Copy 100" to into the Start button of the copier. Inform them that the voice recognition system takes several attempts to calibrate to the user's voice, so multiple attempts will be required.

So, there you have it. These are some short, easy pranks that you can use that won't come back to haunt you later. Happy April Fooling!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Debt Relief Organization Gets No Relief From Me

I don't know how they got my number, or why they thought my name was Mike, but a debt relief organization called through to my cell phone this afternoon. I asked them to call my Google Voice number instead and then I'd be happy to listen to their pitch. The great advantage of having a Google Voice account is that it can record incoming calls. So, when the kind folks called me back, hilarity ensued. I managed to keep the rep on for nearly five minutes.

Have a listen:

Sunday, March 28, 2010

The Universe's Corey Force Is Now Unbalanced

Corey Haim (December 23, 1971 – March 10, 2010)

Poor Corey Feldman was seen wandering Haimlessly through the streets of L.A. this past weekend. The death of his longtime friend, Corey Haim, would, on the surface, seem like no more than the tragic death of yet another fallen Hollywood star. It's a death made all the more sad by the fact that Corey Haim seemed to have been turning his life around. The reality, however, is far worse than most people could have possibly imagined.

The Two Coreys

On July 16, 1971, a great evil was born into this world. After the death of Jim Morrison earlier that month, a turbulent void of raw celestial power seeped into this world from another dimension. The Mayans referred to this energy as "The Corey Force", a unified power with good and evil halves intertwined. Morrison's death not only allowed the Corey Force into this world, but also split it into its two component halves. Once free, the Dark Corey Force corrupted the soul of the unborn Corey Feldman and imbued him with the essence of evil. Mayan prophets predicted that the Corey Feldman would wreak untold amounts of destruction upon this world if left unchecked.

Indeed, in the months after his birth, the Feldman's evil influence was felt throughout the world in numerous ways: 
  • Border skirmishes erupted between Tanzania and Uganda. 
  • Alaska Airlines Flight 1866 crashed into a mountain, killing all 111 people aboard. 
  • A cyclone in the Bay of Bengal killed 10,000 people in India. 
  • Walt Disney World opened in Orlando, Florida.

 

The Birth Of Corey Haim

Thankfully, on December 23 of that same year, Corey Haim was bathed in the Light Corey Force and, thus, the world was brought back into balance. For decades, the two Coreys fought a cosmic cold war against each other. Together, their combined powers could bring about harmonic convergence and Hollywood box office gold. Apart, however, the best they could manage were movies like "Meatballs 4" and "Shooter On The Side". Sooner or later, one side had to prevail.

The Death Of Corey Haim


On March 10, 2010, radical Corey Feldman cultists spiked Haim's cold medicine with a rare Guatemalan herb, causing him to develop the pulmonary edema that resulted in his death, thus fulfilling the Mayan prophecy. As we near the end of the Mayan long count calendar and careen towards 2012, the Corey force is out of balance. With Corey Feldman running free and unchecked, its strength with continue to grow, thus ensuring the eventual apocalypse of 2012.

Corey Feldman Dooms Us All


Come December 21, 2012, we are doomed. Humanity will certainly live on, but the great evil that is The Corey Feldman Force will have reached the pinnacle of its power and evil will reign on Earth. It's best to repent now and prepare for the inevitable. That Corey Haim was our last hope.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Sara Palin's Alaska

Sarah Palin is has been shopping a travel-oriented reality show called Sarah Palin's Alaska and is reportedly close to a deal with Discovery Communications. The program will feature Palin guiding viewers throughout Alaska. If the former governor receives her requested $1.2 million an episode, Sara Palin's Alaska would be one of the most expensive nature series ever made.

Much as I detest Palin and find her to be woefully unintelligent, annoying and a general famewhore, I actually think that this is a good idea. If I understand correctly, she'll essentially be hosting/narrating a travel show within Alaska. So, you've got a travel show in an exotically beautiful state, hosted by a nearly life long resident who has toured the state as a high school basketball player, Miss Alaska contestant and then Governor. She probably has a very interesting take on Alaska and it might be interesting to watch. That is, so long as she isn't set up as some kind of scientific authority. That would be akin to putting Glen Beck in charge of a show about American History.

For those of you who aren't happy about this deal, look at it this way: This may put her back into the public spotlight again, but it keeps her about 75% out of the political arena (the additional 25% comes if she gets her own talk show). Besides, she'll probably quit halfway through anyway.

Monday, March 22, 2010

The Sky Is Not Falling

President Obama will sign sweeping health care reform legislation into law at the White House on Tuesday. Watching the Twitterverse explode, looking at various Facebook status messages and listening to a number of right-wing pundits come unhinged would make one think that the passage of the bill signals the end of Democracy, the end of the Republic and the end of the United States as we know it. I'm surprised that Glenn Back isn't going all Jim Jones on us.

I've got mixed feelings about this bill. Let's keep in mind, first off, that this is health insurance reform, not health care reform. What we needed was the later, but we got the former instead. Honestly, I don't understand the bill, but, on the surface, it seems to reward the corporations who have been screwing us over for decades by forcing everyone to obtain health care. Apparently, the requirement has to exist in order to increase the insurance pool to cover the provision of the bill that disallows denial of coverage for pre-existing conditions and insuree recisions. Somehow, the American consumer still gets his pocket picked in all of this.

The passage of this bill doesn't signal the end of the United States. Whether or not the majority of Americans support this bill is a matter of debate, but one that has little bearing on the outcome. The The United States is a republic, not a democracy. In a true democracy, everyone votes on every issue and the rule of the majority is greater than the rule of law. The United States is far too large for democracy to work effectively. Imagine having to go to the polls each time some new measure is up for passage. It simply wouldn't work. So, we elect individuals to represent us and vote on the issues for us based upon our interests, not upon our will. This makes the United States a republic, and in a republic, the rule of law is greater than the rule of the majority.

With regard to providing extending coverage to the 32 million uninsured Americans, let's recall that essential government services exist due to market failure. Police departments, fire departments and public utilities all existed in the private sector at one point. However, because of market failure in each of those industries, the government stepped in to take over those roles. What this means is that, when someone is unable to obtain access to health care at market value, then the market is broken. If the market is broken, then the government needs to take over to ensure people are receiving the essential service either via regulation or adoption of the service or some mixture of the two. Without a government backed public option, the bill leans more heavily towards industry regulation than it does towards adoption of service.

I can't predict whether or not the passage of this bill will result in longer lines at your Doctor's office, less money in your paycheck or expansion of the welfare roles. I suspect it'll be a mixture of good and bad with one slightly outweighing the other. However, eight months from now, when I go to the polls to vote for the people who represent me, I will ask myself if I am better off today than I was at the end of 2008 and I will then vote accordingly.

And so should you.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

That Time I Met James Brown

Pushing through TSA security at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport a few moments ago, I'm reminded of the last time I did this. It was about 5 years ago. I had gone on a business trip to Atlanta with two colleagues and, as we were making our way through security, we overheard a twenty-something young man being asked for his identification. He gave his name as "Eric Clapton". Obviously, he wasn't the celebrity, he just had a similar name. I turned to my friends and joked about how different Eric Clapton looks in person, how he must have gotten some major plastic surgery in order to look so young, etc.

Once we were through security, I could see a small crowd ahead bottle-necking the flow through the concourse. I snaked around to see if I could see the cause of the commotion. Was it some old guy having a psychotic reaction to a pat down search? No. It was better.

"Oh my GOD!", I exclaimed. "It's James Brown!"

"Yeah, yeah", one of my co-workers said, obviously familiar with my pranks. "Some guy has the same name as the famous James Brown. I get it".

"No! Sweet Lady of Funk, it's the Godfather of Soul himself", I gushed loudly. "Here, take my camera! Get a picture of me with him!". With that, I ran up to talk to him.

Somehow, I waded through the small crowd and got right in front of the guy. I looked at him. He looked at me. I was speechless. My brain kept telling my mouth to say things, but it simply wasn't working. After getting a puzzled look from the hardest working man in show business, I finally blurted out "Wanna see my James Brown impression?".

James Brown simply said "I'd love to, but I'm late. I just don't have time. God bless you".

Defeated, I returned to my colleagues. I asked if they had gotten a picture of me with James Brown, but it wasn't possible due to the crowd.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Central Illinois Regional Airport

When you think about it, it's kind of ironic. It took us longer to drive to the airport than it took to fly down to Atlanta (flat tire not being a factor). It was wort it, though, as flying out from Central Illinois Regional Airport was a great experience. If you ever have a chance to fly out of a smaller airport rather than one of the larger ones, keep in mind some of the things that I liked about Central Illinois Regional Airport:

  • It took less than 10 minutes to get through TSA security
  • Free wireless access
  • Free parking
  • A complete lack of wandering kooks mumbling about the zombie apocalypse

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Flat!

Growing up, when my parents would take me and my siblings on family vacations, there were inevitably snags along the way. We'd get lost, or we'd miss a connecting flight or some obscure bridge would be washed out. No matter what, I always had complete faith that my father would pull us out of any situation and get us to where we needed to be.

While driving up to the airport, about thirty miles from the airport, the entire back of the car shook. It felt like the entire back axle had been torn off. I pulled to the side, got out and looked. My daughter asked nervously what was wrong. We had a flat tire.

Hurriedly, I dug the donut, jack and lugnut set out of the trunk. I changed the tire in what felt like record time, all the while imagining what my father would do in this situation. He'd grit his teeth, maybe utter a few choice swear words and get to work on changing the tire as fast as possible. So, that's what I did.

After about 15 minutes, the tire was changed and I got back into the car. I looked back at my daughter and asked if if she had been worried.

"No", she said. "I knew you'd fix it".

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Heading To Atlanta

I've traveled a fair amount over the last two years. Each time I got ready to go, my daughter would ask me when I would take her on a plane trip. I considered taking her a few places when she was younger, and, though she is a very well behaved child, in the back of my mind I feared that the one time she chose to make a public tantrum would be while we were going through airport security and I'd end up on a "No Fly" list for the rest of my life.

Now, I believe she's old enough to handle a short flight, so we're heading to Atlanta in a few days. My niece is having a birthday party, so it's the perfect excuse for a quick plane trip. I think I have everything covered, so I'm anticipating a smooth trip.

While we are down there, we're going to sample some of the cooler fare that Atlanta has to offer including odd pizza, awesome bbq and hopefully some seafood.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Helicopter Harasses My Cats

I bought an Air Hog Havoc Helli recently and have been having a lot of fun flying it around the yard and inside the house. The cats have become majorly curious about it and have been known to attack it on occasion. Here's a video of me using the remote controlled helicopter to terrorize the cats. No animals were harmed in the making of this video. If anything, the Air Hog helicopter took a much bigger beating.


Friday, March 12, 2010

The Horror Of Getting My Hair Cut

It can be said that I have a slight case of tonsurephobia. This fear of getting my hair cut doesn't stem from a fear of sharp blades, scissors or some kind of social anxiety disorder. No, this fear is the culmination of years of bad experiences which included injuries, insane beauticians, irate girlfriends and several botched haircuts.

I guess it all started with my mother. The poor woman had to raise five kids while working full time and going to school, so, both money and time were often tight in those early years. Mom's top cost/time-saving measure, aside from buying copious amounts of Hamburger Helper, was to give me and my brothers all haircuts. I don't believe Mom had any experience as a beautician, as she simply put a plastic bowl over our heads and cut around it. This was well before the invention of the Flowbie. Our hair may not have been stylish, but she saved time and money by doing it herself, and, besides, who did we need to impress? Mom must have gone to school before peer pressure and hazing were invented.

The trauma that came from Mom forcing me to remain seated while she butchered my hair resulted in me railing against the Barber industry as a whole as a teenager. During those years, I would only agree to get my hair cut when my father had lost enough patience with me to threaten to lock me out of the house if I didn't return with my locks shorn.

Over the years, I endured more than my share of tribulations at various barber shops, some of which include:
  • A scissor-slip incident left me with a deep wound on my forehead. I still have the scar.
  • Somewhere around 7th grade, being given a rat-tail haircut once after asking the barber to get rid of my mullet. I believe I soon cut the tail off on my own, tied it into a knot, and gave it to a girl I liked. She promptly threw it out. 
  • I was incredibly drunk one night in college and decided to trim my hair using nail scissors. It did not end well. 
  • I agreed to let a girlfriend color my hair and instantly regretted it as the red tones turned out purple.

The worst haircut I ever received occurred on the day before I had a big job interview. I stopped in my neighborhood barbershop which was a tiny little hole-in-the-wall owned and operated by some old bugger with a thick Irish accent. I sat in the chair for what seemed like two hours as this guy went on and on about being a Protestant in a predominately Catholic neighborhood of Ireland. One hour into the haircut, I asked the barber if maybe he might be taking too long. He replied that he was giving me a special cut for my interview. I wasn't facing the mirror, and my hair had been incredibly long beforehand, so I didn't see anything wrong with what he was saying. Another 45 minutes into the haircut, my patience was again wearing thin and I asked if I could see how he was progressing. He muttered something about everyone being jealous of my haircut once they saw it. Eventually, that old codger swung me around with a hearty "TA DA!!!!". I looked into the mirror at my hair and all I could do was say "It's a jungle in there!". I was devastated. Upon getting home that night, I called a friend and begged him to give me a crew cut. It all worked out, though, as I had a great story to tell in my interview and my new, high and tight appearance really wowed them because they called later that day to offer me a position.

So, it was with much trepidation that I sat in my local barber's chair yesterday and let him work on my hair. He's a good guy. He works quick, doesn't engage in idle chatter, does a fine job and charges a fair price. When my former father-in-law had a massive stroke and had not yet recovered enough to travel to the barber shop to get his hair cut, my barber visited him once a month and cut his hair for free. For that, he will always have my business, tonsurephobia or not.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Real-Time Search: The Next Step In The Evolution Of The Web

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of LeapFish Inc. All opinions are 100% mine.



Take a look at the video above. We've come a long way since the creation of the public Internet 20 years ago. We've gone from having a number of small sites to crawl to having blogs, social networks, videos and tweets and so much more. That's a lot of information to search through.

You've probably heard of the term "Real-Time Web" before, but do you know what it means? The real-time web enables users to receive information as soon as it is published by the authors, rather than relying upon software that periodically checks the source for updates. Instead, technologies employed by real-time web pushes updates out to users rather than users pulling updates in individually.

You've already seen this technology in action. Real-time web is used primarily in social networking, search engines and news sites. It makes those sites mimic the instant messaging experience. If you've used Twitter or Facebook, you've experienced real-time web. Wouldn't it be great if you could use a search engine that employed the same approach? Instead of finding results that were a few days old, you'd be given results that were instantly relevant to what you were searching for.

A search engine called leapfish is capable of providing results based upon what has been shared such as peoples opinions and conversations. In a number of situations, the conversations and opinions of regular people can be more relevant to your decision making processes and research than the top links that show up in an ordinary search engine. Making the data accessible is simply the first step. The real value in real-time search is in tuning out the static and making the results relevant. This is where the web is going. Strap yourself in and enjoy the ride.




Visit my sponsor: Evolution of the web

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Lohan Sues E-Trade

Actress/Singer/all-around-hot-mess, Lindsay Lohan is suing E-trade, the financial company that makes those disturbingly weird yet absurdly funny commercials where the babies talk smack and trade financial advice. Lohan insists that a boyfriend-stealing, "milkaholic" baby in E-Trade's latest commercial -- who happens to be named Lindsay -- was modeled after her. And she wants $100 million for her pain and suffering.

Lohan's lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna.

"Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit," Ovadia said.

"They used the name Lindsay," Ovadia said. "They're using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn't they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody's talking about it and saying it's Lindsay Lohan."

Didn't Spike Lee do the same thing to the Spike channel a few years back? That didn't work out too well for Mr. Lee. If Lohan truly thinks that she has the same sort of first-name recognition afforded to the likes of Oprah, Madonna, Cher, Bono and Sting, then she's much more delusional than Sting ever was. And, even if the folks at E-Trade targeted Lohan specifically, she's a public figure so the portrayal would fall under the parody exemption.

Part of me wonders if this isn't some kind of publicity stunt rigged by E-Trade and the Lohan camp to create some buzz around both parties.

Still, if she does, through some convoluted fluke in justice, win this case, I am totally going to sue Tom from MySpace and that bass player from Hedley. And then maybe all the Lindsays of the world can file a class-action lawsuit against Lohan for besmirching the name "Lindsay".

Monday, March 8, 2010

The Great Apple App Purge

Mommy always knows what is best for her little angels, doesn't she?

Not long ago, Apple began banning iPhone apps containing content that it deemed “overtly sexual”. It's a highly hypocritical move considering that Safari, the native web browser still allows access to such material and tha Apple stated that it intends to leave apps from major publishers such as Playboy and Sports Illustrated untouched. You know, even Big Brother allowed the masses to have porn. If family friendliness is such an issue, install some better parental controls.

In addition to the culling of the sexy apps, a number of Wi-Fi scanners were also recently removed from the App Store, with Apple alleging that such apps relied on unpublished APIs within the iPhone OS software development kit, which would break the terms set forth by Apple for app developers. This one pisses me off to no end because Apple's native wi-fi finder is complete crap and, as an owner of an iPod Touch, I rely on wi-fi connections.

Apple has also started cracking down on submissions to the App Store that are just "basic applications", apps that are "little more than RSS feeds or glorified business cards" and apps that provide minimal functionality. So, apps like iFart and iQuack got the axe. Heaven help them if they remove Fart Piano, I might just have to go ballistic.

On the one hand, I can understand what Apple is doing. They're becoming like that Wal-Mart of applications by being family friendly and by clearing away what they see as clutter. On the other hand, however, this is a very clear case of taking control away from the consumer. Shouldn't the consumer be the one to decide which apps provide minimal or useless functions? Shouldn't the community be able to decide by voting with their wallets?

The sudden removal of these apps creates an even more troubling problem. What happens if I previously bought an app from the iTunes App Store that has now been banned? Sure, I still have the app installed on my iPod Touch, but I will no longer be able to receive updates. And, if I choose to update my iPhone OS to the next major revision I could very possibly lose the app completely. I could even lose the app if I have a major OS crash. This is akin to Bill Gates coming to my house at night and uninstalling an application on my computer simply because he created Windows.

And you can bet that there won't be any refunds for this.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Get Super Sized With Embiggen

I'm getting really tired of having to watch erectile dysfunction commercials that like to use the phrase "natural male ehanhcement". There have been a number of different approaches from Smilin' Bob to retired athletes to the use of an "everyman". I'm surprised that we've yet to see a superhero talk about natural male enhancement. So, I decided to make one of my own using the Xtranormal animation engine.

Do you want to be a super-hero but find that you don't have the power level to rise to the occasion? Then consider the powerful punch that natural male enhancement can give you. You'll have a sudden leap in your confidence level and you'll be feeling more powerful than a locomotive. It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's Embiggen!!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Tony's Pizza

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Tony's Pizza. All opinions are 100% mine.

I take my pizza very seriously. I spent the better part of my high school years learning the finer points of making the dough, mixing the sauce and shredding the cheese. The core commandment that I learned is that, the key to a good pizza is making sure you don't skimp on the ingredients. You can make a great tasting, affordable pizza without cheaping out on the ingredients.

I recently had the opportunity to sample some pizza from Tony's Pizza. It's easily found in your local grocer's freezer section. And, since pizza is at the top of the food chain for techies like me, I decided to try some while running through a dungeon in World of Warcraft. I was so pleasantly surprised by the crispy goodness of Tony's Pizza that I nearly flubbed my combat rotation. It's nice to find a pizza that can get the crust right. Not only that, but the pepperoni has a little spice to it and the cheese tastes like it was shredded just yesterday.

There are certainly more expensive brands of pizza on the market and there is a temptation to think that more expensive is better. But, it has been my experience that while some of those other, more expensive brands are certainly tasty, they aren't worth the money you have to shell out for them. When you buy a pizza from Tony's Pizza, you're getting your money's worth because you get a great tasting pizza at a fair price. And no skimping.

Visit my sponsor: Free Samples

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Massive Earthquake Rocks Farmville

Land across Farmville has been consumed by flames
A deadly 8.8-magnitude earthquake struck Farmville yesterday, ripping apart buildings, highways and bridges and leaving a path of fiery rubble across a long swath of the virtual world, sending waves rumbling across the Facebook community.

At least 300,000 avatars had died, according to Zynga officials, and more than 1.5 million head of virtual livestock were killed. The death toll is expected to rise, particularly when the less hardcore players finally sign into their accounts.

In Mafia Wars, which is near the quake's epicenter, frightened gangsters felt the city shake for nearly 90 seconds. Car alarms pierced the air during the middle of the night, and at least one highway buckled, toppling cars.

The quake, one of the most powerful ever recorded on Facebook, set off tsunami waves that swamped several Virtual Nation islands before moving across the online community.

Zynga CEO Mark Pincus offered assistance to Farmville in a brief, e-mailed statement. He urged all of the Facebook community to help with relief efforts by accepting Farmville invitations, completing coin offers, giving Farmville gifts and donating farm coins. Aid in other forms has already begun to trickle in. Players from CafeWorld have already sent large amounts of virtual food to Farmville.

Some members of the Facebook community, however, are refusing to heed the call for aid. "Charity begins at home. ", said one community member who did not want to be identified. "I feel bad for the residents of Farmville, but my virtual money is better spent  finding out who said certain things about me in Friend FAQ".

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss.

My daughter suggested I post about this today when I picked her up from school. She informed me that today is Dr. Seuss' birthday and that he wasn't really a doctor. We had quite a discussion about him and agreed that he is one of our favorite authors. I couldn't say for sure that the first book I ever read my daughter was one penned by Dr. Seuss, but I can tell you that the first book she ever read to me was one of his.

Anyway, in honor of Dr. Seuss, here are a number of facts about him that you may not already know.

  • His real name was Theodor Seuss Geisel
  • He drew advertisements for a number of companies such as GE, Standard Oil and NBC
  • During World War II, he turned to drawing political cartoons. You'll find a compilation of them in an online collection called Dr Seuss Went To War
  • Seuss was challenged by a textbook editor named William Ellsworth Spaulding to write a book containing 250 words that Spaulding thought were important for first-graders to recognize. Seuss accepted the challenge and the result was The Cat in the Hat
  • In 1967, Seuss' wife, plagued with several illnesses, committed suicide. Seuss married again in 1968. 
  • Dr. Seuss never had any children, often remarking "You have 'em; I'll entertain 'em".

"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you" — Dr. Seuss

Monday, March 1, 2010

Pesudo-Random Thoughts

My attempts to write something clever or captivating today have failed. So, I'm giving up. I'm just going to throw some pesudo-random stuff out there and see what sticks. Maybe I'll expand upon them later. Probably not. Here's what has been running around in my mind:

  • I say "pseudo-random" because true randomness is elusive. The so-called randomness you see advertised in things such as games of chance are seeded randoms, which means that they still have a degree of predictability.
  • I am a personal friend of Art Vandaley.
  • I become a zombie sometimes whenever there is a Star Trek marathon on.
  • I use this blog as a means of procrastination.
  • I've gotten better at cooking, but my latest attempt at chili was confiscated by the Nuclear Regulatory Commission.
  • I think the Sonic commercials are hilarious. It's all in the delivery. And, anything Molly Erdman is selling, I'm buying.
  • I can't spelll.
  • I wonder if Mario ever gets insanely pissed when that damn mushroom dude tells him that their princess is in another castle. 
  • The earthquake in Chile shifted Earth's axis by 2.7 milliarcseconds and shortened the day by 1.26 microseconds. These changes are imperceptable, but the conspiracy theorists will no doubt be out en masse. Maybe I'll even come up with one.