Tuesday, February 2, 2010

PETA Wants A Robotic Groundhog For Groundhog Day

PETA thinks the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club is cruel to their resident groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil. They want a robot to replace Phil because of "cruelty", though his caretakers argue that Punxsutawney Phil lives like a king.

"Phil is probably treated better than the average child in Pennsylvania.", says a spokesperson for The Groundhog Club. "He's got air conditioning in the summer, his pen is heated in winter ... He has everything but a TV in there. What more do you want?"

Turns out the folks at PETA have never even made an effort to visit Phil.

Seems to me that it's better to keep old Phil living like a king in captivity then let him get eaten by a coyote. If PETA really wants to make a contribution they will pay Alecia Silverstone to crawl naked out of a hole in the ground to look for her shadow. I might even pay to see that.

Did you know that Phil is just one of many groundhogs used to predict the arrival of Spring? A number of cities around the United States have their own local groundhog prognosticators. Here's a small sampling of them and their predictions:

Prediction   Groundhog   Location  
Early Spring Octorara Orphie Quarryville, Pennsylvania
Early Spring Sir Walter Wally Raleigh, North Carolina
Early Spring Jimmy the Groundhog Sun Prairie, Wisconsin
Early Spring General Beauregard Lee Snellville, Georgia
6 More Weeks of Winter Malverne Mel Malverne, New York
Early Spring Staten Island Chuck Staten Island (New York City)
Early Spring Woodstock Willie Woodstock, Illinois
6 more weeks of winter Wiarton Willie Wiarton, Ontario
6 more weeks of winter Punxsutawney Phil Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania
6 more weeks of winter Spanish Joe Spanish, Ontario
Early spring Dunkirk Dave Dunkirk, New York
Early Spring Buckeye Chuck Marion, Ohio
Early Spring Balzac Billy Balzac, Alberta
6 more weeks of winter Shubenacadie Sam Shubenacadie, Nova Scotia
Early Spring French Creek Freddie French Creek, West Virginia
6 more weeks of winter Chuckles Manchester, Connecticut
6 more weeks of winter Woody Howell, Michigan

1 comment:

  1. with all the flashing camera in Phil's face, it's more than likely he will see his "shadow" from here to kingdom come!! lol

    i personally belong to the other PETA.. People Eating Tasty Animals :)