Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Swingin' Governor Mark Sanford

There's an old adage about throwing stones in glass houses. It stands to reason that, if you're going to point out the splinter in someone else's eye, you'd best not have a log sticking out of your own. We've seen proof positive of this recently thanks to the sextra-curricular activities of Bob Barr, Mark Foley, Eliot Spitzer, Larry Craig and, most recently, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. It would seem almost inevitable that the public moralist is also a secret hedonist.

I don't think that we expect our politicians to be saints, nor do I believe that a little bumpity-bump outside of marriage disqualifies someone from holding public office. However, one should not hold someone else to a standard that they themselves are not willing to aspire to. I'm speaking mainly about the mock outrage that erupted from the mouths of the bulk of the politicians I mentioned above when it was revealed that then-President Bill Clinton had been playing pig-in-a-poke with Monica Lewinsky. They weren't outraged so much by Clinton's little fib to a grand jury so much as they were about the commission of the actual sex act. That always puzzled me, as adultery isn't illegal, while lying to a grand jury is, yet all these public moralists focused on the seedier aspects of the scandal rather than the legal ones.

I don't care if Mark Sanford wanted to get his groove on with some babe in Argentina behind his wife's back. Where I take umbrage is the fact that he spent taxpayer dollars on the trip (doesn't matter if he pays it back, the very act itself is illegal) and he abandoned his post for five days in order to do it. Furthermore, during the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, Sanford demanded "moral clarity" from Clinton and called upon him to resign. Sanford obviously believes that some sort of moral character is needed in order to effectively govern, and, that being the case, he has undermined himself and lost all credibility.

Time to take your own advice, Sanford. Though, we know that's not going to happen.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Bye Bye, Bernie

Earlier today, a federal judge sentenced Bernie Madoff to 150 years in prison, the maximum for his crimes. Madoff had been found guilty of operating the largest, longest and most widespread Ponzi scheme in history. Federal prosecutors had estimated that client losses, which included fabricated gains, had topped $65 billion.

Clearly, 150 years isn't a light sentence, especially for a 71 year old man. This man is going to die in prison. Still, it doesn't feel complete. What remains of Madoff's fortune needs to be sold off, with the proceeds being split among his victims. Even that, however, isn't enough. I propose that a whip be given to each and every one of Madoff's victims. The victims will stand in two lines, three feet apart. Then, Madoff will be stripped down to his boxers and send down between the two lines, with each victim being able to take a few shots at the bastard.

Anyway, Bye Bye, Bernie. Don't drop the soap!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Jason & TommyMac Go To Burger King

An epic tale of drunken adventure unfolds as Jason and TommyMac search the Wal-Marts of Central Illinois for a copy of Ghostbusters for the Wii and jones for the flame broiled taste of Burger King cheeseburgers. It was late on a Saturday night. With their booze reserves running low, their entertainment options limited and their stomachs yearning for the taste that could only be satiated by Burger King, Jason & TommyMac hit the road and record most of it for you to witness.

Here it is, in glorious widescreen.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

I Have A Little Fun With TicketMaster

I'm not sure how I would up as a member of the TicketMaster group on Facebook. I'm not a fan of TicketMaster at all. I basically view them as a black hole that sucks up all of your money in the form of convoluted fees. But, there seems to be no alternative if you want to get tickets for a major event.

An announcement from TicketMaster mourning the loss of Michael Jackson appeared on my feed yesterday morning. I just had to comment. Here's a screen capture of it.

Click The Picture To See A Larger, More Readable Version.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Michael Jackson Is Dead

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is a very happy man today. Ahmad Khatami, a hard-line Iranian cleric, has called for people protesting Ahmadinejad's re-election to be put to death. "They should be punished ruthlessly and savagely," he said, indicating that he wants the Iranian judiciary to charge the protesters as being "mohareb" or one who wages war against God. Under Iran's Islamic law, punishment for people convicted as mohareb is execution. But hardly anybody outside of Iran was aware of this because all of the major news outlets were devoting their time to covering the death of Michael Jackson.

Even South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford offered a prayer of thanks to Jesus Christ for making this event bury the story of his taxpayer funded adultery.

That's not to say that Michael Jackson wasn't a significant figure. In his prime, the man was a musical genius and was singularly responsible for revolutionizing the concept of the music video. In the 1980's, his product became the benchmark of pop production.

By most accounts, Jackson was severely abused as a child, and, due to this, went on to retreat completely into his fantasy world. Thanks to his vast fortune, this was something he could afford to do. He would never have to grow up or face what happened to him. What's more, his wealth allowed him to surround himself with yes-men who never questioned him, and never encouraged him to seek help. He alienated the people who truly cared about him, because they reminded him of his hurtful past. It's no wonder the man was on the crazy side of eccentric. You can't live a normal life under those circumstances.

Inevitably, the child molestation allegations will come up while discussing Michael Jackson. I'm disinclined to believe that there was any merit in them. Even the 1993 allegation reeks of extortion. Jackson's mistake was in settling it which created a perception that he was guilty and will forever tarnish his legacy more than any of his weird behaviors. It's easy to take a few shots at the guy because he has always made such a tempting target. You can't be so cozy with children who are not related to you and not expect some  push back from it. Some of my favorite tasteless jokes arising from Jackson's death are:
  • Michael Jackson suffered cardiac arrest due to a food allergy. When paramedics arrived, they found 13 year old nuts in his mouth.
  • Jackson was not breathing when paramedics arrived at his home. He had choked on a 9 year old weiner. 
  • He was taken to a children's hospital where he died of happiness.

Here's an image of CNN's coverage of Jackson's death. Stay classy, CNN!

In the end, whatever you think of Michael Jackson, good bad or indifferent, his music lives on and the world keeps spinning. When you wake up tomorrow, Iranian clerics will still be oppressing their people, U.S. politicians will still be lying to their constituants and you'll still be able to fire up a copy of "Thriller" to help you escape the absurdity of it all.

Oh yeah, Farrah Fawcett died yesterday too, in case you hadn't heard.

Go Keyless.

The following is a sponsored post. Please help support this site by visiting the sponsor below. For more information please see this site's Disclosure Policy

There's no doubt that keyless locks are changing the world. It's about time, too, as the concept of the key and lock has existed for at least 6,000 years. Just as the horse and cart evolved into the automobile, keyless locks have revolutionized point of entry security. Why bother fumbling around with a set of keys when all you want to do is get into your house? With keyless locks, you have the freedom to enter and leave your home without the need to carry around a bulky set of keys.

Keyless locks offer better security than the traditional key and lock system. Keys can be easily duplicated without the knowledge of the key owner. However, with keyless locks, they locks are opened by inputting a PIN number, which is much more secure and easier to keep secret. Some locks are even time sensitive and can automatically lock and unlock themselves on a schedule.

When you think of all the benefits of keyless locks, why wouldn't you look into it?

Thursday, June 25, 2009

An Egg Has Hatched

It has been majorly hot outside over the past week. I have no idea how a bird can endure sitting on an egg in 95 degree weather. But, this one has done it with at least a small degree of success, as one of the eggs has hatched.

This bird had laid three eggs and soon discarded one. Not sure if that unhatched egg you see in the picture below is viable or not, so I'll check up on it in a few days and see what I can see.

Visit Drodio.com

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Ding Dong Fluff

Jason submitted this picture to the site. He found it at the supermarket near my house. It is apparently some sort of whipped cream based casserole.

The question here is, would you put something called Ding Dong Fluff in your mouth?

Monday, June 22, 2009

Jon and Kate Get Divorced

Jon and Kate Gosselin of the TLC reality series "Jon and Kate Plus 8" have filed for divorce. Papers filed at Bucks County Courthouse in Reading, Pennsylvania this afternoon will end the couple's ten year marriage. Viewers of the show have watched the Gosselin family deteriorate before their eyes this season. The pressure of raising a set of twins and a set of sextuplets, along with increased media scrutiny among allegations of adultery on both sides has been building on the couple for quite some time.

I've caught a few episodes of the show here and there and have determined that neither Jon nor Kate are exactly prize spousal material. Kate is a domineering shrew who has put her own ambition above the welfare of her children. She seems to take a perverse pleasure in asserting her authority over the children and browbeating Jon. Jon is the epitome of the henpecked husband. He not only defers to Kate's authority on every decision, he reels under Kate's attacks and gets his revenge by being passive/aggressive and seeking comfort elsewhere.

On some level, I feel sorry for Jon. It can't be easy to be married to a woman like Kate who seems to have grand delusions involving her own importance in the world. I'm betting that Kate is the type of woman who, on the rare occasions when she does have sex with Jon, lays there the whole time and then acts like she did him a favor when he's gotten off. I can also see where Kate is frustrated with Jon. The man is so wishy washy and bland that Kate probably realized long ago that the only way to get any reaction out of the guy is to piss him off. Plus, it's hard to respect someone who won't stand up for himself.

The one thing I don't understand here is why Jon and Kate are jumping so quickly into divorce. One would think that a couple that cared about each other and their children would immediately shutter the reality series, retreat into the family and work on all of the issues they have. Maybe things still wouldn't work out, but at least they could say they truly made an effort. That would be the sane thing to do. That would be the normal thing to do. But, this is Hollywood, and the show must go on. The divorce drama will not only free the pair from having to deal with the tough issues that accompany a troubled marriage, but will also make for a ratings goldmine.

The only innocent ones here are the children. They are the ones I feel sorry for the most. No matter how bad their parents really are, they are still "Mom" and "Dad" to those eight angels, which makes them the two most important people in the world to them. And when the two most important people in your universe don't get along, it makes for a difficult life indeed. I do wonder if, years from now, interest in everyone involved will still be strong enough to support a tell all book penned by 8 authors detailing the behind-the-scenes details and untold stories about this train wreck of a marriage.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

It's A Blu World

There's a spectacular new contest going on that I just had to tell you folks about. The good folks over at BluFrog are sponsoring a very cool contest where you can win one of five amazing "blu" themed prizes. Winning any of the prizes they are offering would be great, but there's one prize in particular that I'm going to go for. I'm hoping to win the "Happy Blu Year" trip to New York. The winner will get round-trip airfare for two to New York in time for a New Year's celebration in Time's Square, a three night stay in a luxury hotel and a helicopter ride for two over New York. Sounds like a dream vacation to me.

There are other great prizes that you can win too, including an ultimate gaming package which is built around an Xbox 360 system, a trip to Lollapalooza in Chicago, a trip to the Richard Petty Driving Experience in Orlando, FL and a trip to the Winter X Games in Aspen, CO. Any one of those prizes would be wonderful to win, so make sure you check out the contest, enter it and Tweet about it right away.

Official contest rules can be found at http://itsabluworld.com/contests/rules/


Thursday, June 18, 2009

Horse Lovers Should Check Out EquestrianCupid.com

Mutual interest is one of the essential components of a successful relationship. For horse lovers, who are passionate about the equestrian lifestyle, this can be a small stumbling point. Can you imagine how frustrating it must be for an equestrian to find a potential date and only later find out that the person they found was not interested in horse riding at all? Well, now, this is no longer a concern, thanks to equestrian cupid. It's different from other dating sites in that you can not only discover fellow horse lovers who are interested in dating, but you can also meet horseback riding buddies, discover uncharted trails, pursue the country lifestyle, locate the best riding areas , and meet someone to share your country pursuits.

They have achieved tremendous success over the years. The best part is their FREE sign-up. There is a tremendous amount of potential for equestrians who are looking for people who share the same interest. You might find a potential match on the site and arrange for a date that involves a romantic horseback ride on one of your favorite trails. The possibilities are endless and, once again, they offer free sign up. So, if you're an equestrian or at all interested in horses, make sure you check out equestriancupid.com right away.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

My Own Take On The Whole Letterman/Palin Issue

There are huge protests going on in Iran over what looks to be election fraud. North Korea is rattling sabers again. Elvis is still dead. These things are all newsworthy subjects, yet, all I am seeing on the news lately is coverage of the feud between David Letterman and Sarah Palin.

Essentially, Letterman told a joke poking fun at Palin's eighteen-year-old daughter's promiscuity, joking that Palin was trying to keep her daughter from being "knocked up" by Alex Rodriguez while at a Yankee's game. Any reasonable person who did not know the circumstances of Palin's New York trip would automatically peg the joke for Bristol, Palin's eighteen-year-old daughter who beautifully illustrated the failure of Palin's abstinence education platform by becoming pregnant out of wedlock. Regrettably, it was Palin's fourteen-year-old daughter who was actually at the game.

Under those circumstances, the joke was certainly not a well thought out one and, as a result, was probably in bad taste. But, let us not forget that the nature of comedy is such that it cannot exist without a degree of schadenfreude. Palin certainly had the right to object to the joke, but this saga should not have been dragged out as much at is has. Sarah Palin, you see, has learned the cardinal rule of politics: there is no such thing as bad publicity. As long as she's in the news it's a good day for her.

The problem here isn't David Letterman's joke. No, the problem is the victim mentality that Palin seems to capitalize on at every turn. I'm sure the Palin children didn't ask to be thrust into the national spotlight during the Presidential campaign. The Palins chose to put them out there, though, as examples of their family values and "everyman" status. Bristol, however, in doing her recent spate of interviews with the media, has become a public figure in her own right and is fair game.

Personally, I'm not happy with Letterman. Not because of the joke, but because he caved in and apologized. Were I in Letterman's shoes and had I been accused of 'bad taste' and by an idiotic demagogue like Sarah Palin, and, worse, had I had to endure her backhanded suggestion that her daughter would not be safe around me (This is, after all, the woman who cheerfully and glibly stated that Obama "pals around with terrorists"), I would devote a month's worth of shows to exposing her as the incompetent fraud she is. I am not normally in favor using the comedy stage to satisfy vendettas, but no one in their right mind can take anything that Palin says seriously. Besides, how can you take anyone who picks a fight with a comedian seriously? I realize that it's her shtick to define herself as the opposition to other people and ideas rather than as a candidate who actually stands for something. She really needs to disappear for a few years and start reading some newspapers, Supreme Court decisions and good, old fashioned books and develop some of her own ideas.

Still, I wonder why A-Rod hasn't said anything about the issue?

One Bad Egg

I went to inspect the nest this morning and found that there are only two eggs in there now. I checked around the nest to see if perhaps the egg had been rejected and tossed out, but no luck. I'm wondering if this one hadn't already become the victim of some enterprising land creature.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Testing Out The New Green Screen Studio

Thanks to the money generated by selling ad space on this site, I was able to buy an inexpensive yet very useful studio light in order to create better lighting effects for those videos that I'm known to create. I purchased a lighting kit with a 27 Watts 5500K Fluorescent Photo Lamp Bulb to use as a light source. For the green screen, I spray painted a piece of cardboard with Rust-Oleum Painter's Touch Meadow Green Gloss spray paint.

In order to test the set up, I recorded a brief news segment. It is currently processing in Adobe Ultra. It doesn't look to bad. In fact, for a first shot, it looks pretty damn good. There will certainly have to be some tweaking done to the screen as well as the lighting setup, but, so far, I'm pretty happy with the results. I'll have the resulting footage put up later this week.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Name The Comforts Brand Firefly

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What's in a name? Well, there could be a $10,000 scholarship in it if you enter the Conforts for Baby contest and name their cute little firefly logo. The contest is being run by Kroger-owned stores in order to help fund your child's college education. So, head on over there and enter the contest. What have you got to lose? I have already entered the contest myself. I decided to call the little firefly "Mr. SparkyPants".

Comforts For Baby formula is specially formulated for the nutritional needs that your baby requires during that all important first year. It contains DHA and ARA for your baby's mental and visual development. It also contains many more nutrients that are also found in breast milk, such as lactose, choline for infant development and other nutrients essential for immune system development. You can rest assured that you're buying a quality product for your baby, because Comforts For Baby Formula is manufactured in the only ISO 9001:2000–certified, infant formula-manufacturing facility in the United States and adheres to the exacting FDA standards that are spelled out by the Infant Formula Act.

Remember, to enter the contest, you need to head over to Comforts for Baby, fill out all the information requested in the entry form, and enter an original name for the Comforts firefly using 25 characters or less. The winner will be announced online after September 21, 2009.

Good Luck, everyone!


Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Another Freeloading Bird Has Moved In

I knew I should have taken the nest down when I had the chance. It appears that another Freeloading Bird has taken up residence on my air conditioner. Eggs have already been laid.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Sims 3 For the iPhone/iPod Touch

I never understood the appeal of The Sims franchise. Beyond their use as a tool to create machinima themed movies, I have no desire to play any of the games in that franchise. To me, those "games" are just one step above playing with dolls. I'm usually content to leave that sort of thing to my daughter and her Fisher-Price "Loving Family Doll House". The scenarios that she came up over the years have run the gamut from the mundane to the comedic to the poignant to the completely insane (like the time The Incredible Hulk arrived for dinner). All of this was borne out of the imagination of a small child. Surely, my mighty adult imagination, assisted by the folks over at EA Games, could come up with something much more creative and fun. Right?

Having no desire to bind myself to the pay-per-content model that EA Games has come up with for The Sims 3, and wanting something fairly mindless to do during my downtime, I elected to purchase The Sims 3 for my iPod Touch. It's a scaled down version of the game, but I was surprised at how much they were actually able to fit into the app. The graphics look great and the controls are pretty fluid once you get used to them. But, is it fun?

I created a Sim with personality traits that would make him a complete nutcase. Playing a maniac is kind of fun. I reveled in creeping out other Sims. I'd have him barge into other Sims' homes and eat from their fridge (saving me $10 in the process), shower in their bathrooms and sleep next to them in their beds. It often became a contest to see how fast I could get kicked out of another Sim's house. That got old pretty quick, though, and soon, the tedium began to set in. Cooking meals. Going to work. Fixing the television set. Keeping up with the Jones'. It's a lot like real life. I play computer games to escape real life.

I could live with the need and wish fulfillment requirements within the game if the autonomous actions were more varied. This game is quite obviously aimed at a younger demographic, so any violent aspects within it are sufficiently cartoonified and limited. EA Games isn't looking to satisfy the outlandishly twisted desires of a jaded 35-year-old malcontent like myself. I don't want to just annoy my enemies, I want to destroy them! I want full escapism!

Still, if you're a fan of The Sims franchise and can't bear to be without your Sims fix, then this is a must have. It has enough of the gameplay ported from the regular version to get you through until you can get back to your desktop for the full version. If you're just looking to play the game during your downtime, I doubt it's worth buying. It feels like an advanced version of a Tomagachi Pet. And, in the end, the sort of escapism that the Sims 3 offers cannot compare to what is offered by one's own imagination.

Monday, June 8, 2009

More Generic Snack Food Pr0n!

I swear, somewhere out there, there is a brilliant marketing genius coming up with these names. Today, we feature a little dessert that seems to be aimed at the ladies.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Bill Killed: Actor David Carradine Found Dead in Bangkok

Actor David Carradine, best known for his work on the 1970's tv show Kung Fu and the movie Kill Bill, was found dead in his room at the Park Nai Lert Hotel in Bangkok, Thailand. Thai police reported that the 72-year-old was found by a hotel maid sitting in a wardrobe with a rope around his neck and genitals.

While Thai police are said to be investigating his death as a suicide, it seems very apparent that Carradine had been engaging in some auto-erotic asphyxiation and ended up pulling a Michael Hutchence. I guess that old song rings true, "One night in Bankok makes a hard man humble".

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Click2Map Makes Google Maps Look Good

There's no doubt that Google Maps is an incredibly useful tool. It is by far the best online map tool available. However, that doesn't mean that there isn't room for improvement. Getting Google Maps to do exactly what you want it to do isn't easy, even if you're a skilled programmer.

If you want to do things with Google Maps, such as making customized markers, adding customized points of interest and even creating password protected maps, then you will want to be sure to visit Click2Map and check out all their features. Nearly everything about their maps is customizable. You can add custom headers and footers as well as fonts, sidebars and colors.

There are a lot of useful business applications for these customizable maps. You can make custom driving directions if you're looking to have potential customers take a specific route to your location. You can also access statistical information to see how customers use the maps that you've created. It's also an ideal tool for managing your business. Perhaps you'd want to make a map highlighting all the properties you manage. You could also make a map that contains the location of your customers, suppliers, properties and more. The possibilities are endless.

Don't just take my word for it. See for yourself by checking out the video below and then heading over to their signup page.



Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I Place A Call To Extenze

I'm getting tired of those Extenze commercials. These pills promise to "make a man larger" using the colorful euphemism, "male enhancement". I get that they have to dance around the FCC rules, but why can't they just come out and say what the freaking thing does? I often wondered what would happen if someone called up and totally misunderstood the purpose of the product.

I called the good folks over at Extenze last night posing as a rube who thought that the pills would make him taller. I kept asking questions as the call went on and, after every answer, the customer service rep would say "shall I start your order now so you can start enjoying this product?". I kept her on the phone for over 18 minutes before she finally gave up.

The entire conversation is available if you want to listen to it.

However, if you don't have the patience to sit through it, here's a quick run down:

1:46 - The rep confirms that the pill will make me taller
2:20 - I ask if it'll make my midget wife taller too
2:42 - I explain that I'm a leg man, but I don't mind butts
3:12 - I ask if it will make my dog bigger, because he was the runt of the litter.
3:55 - I hope the pill won't make me too tall, even though I'd like to be able to dunk on the basketball court
4:28 - I ask the rep where she's from and how she was trained.
4:45 - Rep's first attempt to get me to hang up.
5:17 - The rep finally utters the word "Penis"
5:25 - Do I need a prescription?
6:11 - I ask if it will put more meat on my pig
6:40 - Rep tries to get me to hang up again
7:24 - I tell her I don't know what "postage" is.
8:04 - I wonder why I need "shipping" if I don't own any boats
8:30 - I ask my cousin Cletus if he knows why I need shipping if I don't own a boat
8:53 - I worry about having to buy new clothes for when I get taller
9:02 - Rep flat out says she doesn't think I am going to place an order
10:40 - Finally get her back on track by asking about the 97 cent deal.
10:52 - She insists upon getting my credit card so she can process the order while she answers my questions
11:08 - I compliment her sales skills and ask her where she was trained
11:41 - They don't take Sam's Club coupons
12:10 - She offers to process my order using the work visa I was issued to travel in Mexico
12:45 - I offer to send her 97 cents worth of stamps so she can send me the package.
14:21 - Rep asks if I am being skeptical. I take offense and tell her to stop calling me names
15:13 - I ask if she gets in trouble if she hangs up the phone
16:00 - I ask if they sell memory pills
16:40 - I ask what "male enhancement" is supposed to mean. She says if I called, I should already know
17:23 - She explains that "enhancement" means "potential growth in length and width". I ask her why I would want to grow plants and weeds.
18:11 - The rep accuses me again of not wanting to place an order
18:21 - She finally hangs up

Monday, June 1, 2009

The McRib Tour And William Shakespeare

William Shakespeare is widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language and the world's pre-eminent dramatist. Suspiciously, very little is known about the man before 1585, when he appeared in London and founded the Lord Chamberlain's Men acting troupe. Shakespeare's works have greatly influenced subsequent theater and literature, through their innovative use of plot, language, and genre. Shakespeare is perhaps best known for expressing the wide range of the human experience. He created complete human beings at a time when characters in many plays were either flat, or merely archetypes. Thus characters such as Macbeth and Shylock could commit despicable acts, yet still command the audience's sympathy because they were flawed human beings, rather than one dimensional monsters. How did a man, supposedly from 16th Century accomplish all that? Because he wasn't from the 16th Century at all.

I have it on good authority that the man we know as William Shakespeare was really a cyborg from the 23rd Century sent back in time to shore up the pillars of Western Civilization in order to hasten the creation of the McRib sandwich. Now, you might think that the McRib is just a few chunks of meat formed together to look like a slab of boneless ribs. Personally, I always thought the damn thing was just made out of Elmer's Glue and MSG. However, the shocking truth is that McDonald's has pioneered the technology to de-calcify bone into an edible substance, thus giving the McRib its signature addictive taste. Had it not been for this technology, McDonald's would have had to resort to genetically engineering boneless pigs which would have resulted in the eventual extinction of the pig, thus forcing the McRibs of the 23rd Century to be made from boneless cat ribs. And have you ever tasted cat meat? Well, if you've ever eaten at Panda Express, you have. But, that's another conspiracy altogether.

We're through the looking glass here, people, and, the next time you need to know where the McRib is showing up next, or you'd like to follow the McRib tour as it winds its way around every McDonald's in the country, remember to thank our old pal William Shakespeare for making the creation of the McRib possible.